Putting up healthy walls

My authentic self values transparency and proximity, so establishing boundaries can be difficult for me. But people can be even more difficult. They can be unfair and just plain evil. Their negative energy and hurtful behavior (usually caused by their insecurities) can make you feel like you’re not good enough. This is the ugly side of humanity.

How do we make lemonade with those lemons?

Well, it takes time and effort, but working on setting boundaries with dysfunctional people helps us to be happier and healthier. Here are my thoughts…

1. Be selective. Try to avoid those “toxic” individuals. It is okay for you to choose and remind yourself, “I’m not going to hang with Pam because being around her is just not good for me.” Sorry to the Pams out there that are good people!

2. If you know it is safe to give someone another chance, explain how they made you feel and what you want your relationship to be like instead. Then, determine if they agree with those terms and if so, proceed with caution. Some people do make mistakes and learn from them.

3. Know abuse is never okay. It is not simply a mistake. It is a very unsafe situation and huge problem. Someone that loves you in a healthy way for both parties will want to keep you safe and will keep this in mind. You don’t owe anyone anything. You call the shots in your life.

Remember no one has any right to hurt you or your feelings. You don’t have to keep that mess your life. At times, you can solve a problem. At times, they are the problem and you can’t change people that don’t want and work to change. Set boundaries when you need to because you need to love and protect yourself more than anyone else loves and protects you. You are your #1! This may seem impossible. It is a huge undertaking. However, this is self-respect. We all need to always have it and strive to have it if we don’t. Our hearts are infinite. Valuing ourselves doesn’t make us love others any less than we do now.

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Time to shine

Check out Rachel Hollis’ Instagram. Her video inspired me to write this:

Make time to pat yourself on the back. We don’t do this enough. Cheer for yourself. Accept compliments! Most compliments come from a very authentic space. It’s important for us to acknowledge accomplishments — for that value to be very much alive in our culture. I believe this because I have seen an increase in confidence lead to more production. We need to help others shine and help ourselves to shine, so we progress beautifully. What we accomplish is meaningful because it is real. There are ways to give yourself credit with humility. These values are not mutually exclusive. If you feel yourself drowning in your insecurities (we all struggle with this in one way or another), think of three positive things about yourself or your life and own those compliments. And own your amazing work!

“I can’t do this all on my own,” said too many humans.

Our culture is built on independence and competition. These are beautiful values that yield amazing fruit, but, at times, this environment leads us to experience overwhelm. When this stress strikes, do whatever you need to do in order to simmer down. It is important to relieve the tightness and heal the strain.

What makes you feel better in times like these? Soaking in a bubble bath with a candle beside you and great book in your hands? Listening to your favorite song/artist? Moving your body with a challenging work out or yoga flow? Finding peaceful stillness with meditation? Cuddling with your love? A combination of the above? All of the above like me?!

Some times we need to adventure beyond our comfort zone and some times we simply need to seek shelter, peace, and comfort. And this is okay! It is okay to need. It is completely okay to ask for help. Life is tough and awful things happen on this planet. Let’s support each other when life is hard. We are strong and that is what strong humans do. We need to take care of ourselves, but we also need to take care of our brothers and sisters.

How can we care for each other? I’m so curious to hear your thoughts!

You Are Worthy

Thank you for focusing on yourself. Don’t forget to thank yourself for this as well.

I believe with my whole heart that we can serve others by really caring about who we are as individuals because that is infectious and powerful.

What means the world to you? What makes you a better you? What makes you feel better?

Seek that out and soak all that in because you are so worthy of you are made for more!

Take care,

Amanda

Energy Begets Energy*

*Post title from and post inspired by Rachel Hollis’ Girl, Stop Apologizing. Rachel is brilliant and I love her work.

This week I’m focusing more on the following “simple, but not so easy” things. I’m trying to radiate more positive energy, but in order to do that, I need fuel right?!

1. Drinking 9 glasses of water daily

2. Doubling my usual amount of girl time

3. Dialing up my meditations with InsightTimer’s “Coming Home to Yourself” course

What fuels you? Please share your comments and questions!

Take care,

Amanda

Leave Behind More

I’ve been practicing mindfulness and have seen much progress in myself. Here is an exercise below. Maybe you have done something like this before. After all, everything has been said and done before.

Trying to accept who we are is simple, but not easy. Let’s take two minutes to reflect with self-compassion and positivity on how our strengths and weakness are intertwined.

Now how do you feel? What do you love about yourself? What do you want to work on? What are you grateful for today?

Thank you for joining me and starting today. Hoping this serves you and resonates with you.

Take care,

Amanda